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Mark & Dave: We pay pretty price at pump for pretty views

While gasoline appears headed to the sub-$3 level for many states across the nation, Oregon and Washington likely will miss out on the bonanza.

Why? Oregon AAA’s Marie Dodds tells us we use cleaner and more environmentally friendly gas refined for California, which is more expensive to produce. Hard to get upset about it when you see people in Shanghai and other industrialized cities wearing masks to filter the pollution. Clean air and views of the Cascade peaks aren’t free.

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The Bicycle Transportation Alliance came out last week to claim bicyclists are indeed paying their fair share of road costs in Portland. According to the BTA, 89 percent of bike riders also own cars and pay gas taxes at the pump. The alliance also argues that bicycles cause no road damage.

Mark says: The premise is right. More bikes mean fewer cars and better roads.

Dave says: It’s silly to claim the fees you pay for your car also cover your bike. It’s like passing gas and demanding a wind power tax credit. We need better bike lanes, and bicyclists need to pay their fair share.

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Political correctness off the rails? The news release for this year’s tree lighting at Pioneer Courthouse Square managed to avoid the word “Christmas” altogether, announcing the 2013 Winter Season downtown — although the word “holiday” was buried twice later in the release. We get it, we understand the desire to embrace diversity, and we love being a sponsor of the event. But to us the absence of any reference to the real reason for the holiday seemed stark this year. We miss it. Enjoy your winter shopping.

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Google reportedly patented a patch you wear on your neck that transmits conversations. Here’s the best part: It also acts as a lie detector. Let’s hope they can perfect the design and get it to market before the next election.

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The first list of 2013 is out. Global Language Monitor’s top words of 2013 include twerking (thank you, Miley Cyrus), sequestration (thank you, Congress), surveillance (thank you, National Security Agency), and hashtag (thank you, Twitter). The top two words of 2013 are the dour and fatalistic “fail” and “404” (thank you, Obamacare).

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It sounds unbelievable, but what if it isn’t? North Korea reportedly executed 80 by firing squad. The crime? Watching foreign films. All of a sudden Obamacare computer problems, government shutdowns, and the NSA tapping into your Netflix doesn’t sound so bad, after all.

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We thought the mob ran Vegas, not the NSA. New streetlights in downtown Las Vegas can broadcast messages and play music. Cutting edge cool, right? They also can shoot video and record sound on a wireless network. It’s for your safety and security, the same thing told to Seattle residents when they uncovered a similar burgeoning network of spy boxes that could presumably tap into a citizen’s smartphone. The Seattle boxes were shut down last week. But for now, what happens in Vegas may no longer stay in Vegas.

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We found a report that says men actually lie in bed. What do they lie about? Emotions. Men admitted to saying “I love you” during the most intimate moments even when they didn’t mean it. Why do they lie? The men said it was to spare her feelings. Funny, the same guy has no problem telling you he doesn’t like your mother.

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PETA is upset that a turkey farmer stuffs his birds with beer in the effort to make them fatter, more juicy and flavorful. The animal rights group claims it’s inhumane to serve beer to birds. Really, we thought the chopping off of the head would upset them. Hey, let them go happy.

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In Sweden, the famous Ice Hotel, built entirely out of ice (including the furniture) is being forced to install fire alarms. And you thought Portland had overly strict building codes.

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From the new invention department, an alarm clock that tells you how many days you have left to live. We thought that was what the Obama Death Panel was for.

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Burgerville announced plans to open a restaurant at the Portland International Airport. They say customers have been clamoring to take milkshakes aboard the airplane. Another reason for wider seats.

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Huh? That’s the universally understood word. Linguists have suggested “huh” is the one word that is understood across all countries and cultures. They must have government leaders just like ours.

Listen to the “Mark and Dave Show” from 3 to 6 p.m. weekdays on KPAM AM 860. Follow them on Facebook: www.facebook.com/themarkanddaveshow.