The best of 2019's blotter
1/5 10:52 a.m. A pet owner told police she has ordered a tracking device in an attempt to discover who has been clipping her outdoor cat's nails and taking its collar off. In the most recent incident, she said, the kitty was gone for two weeks.
1/9 5:54 p.m. A 79-year-old man told police that his daughter is forcing him to eat at the table and won't let him have his cellphone.
1/12 8:39 a.m. During his morning walk along the Willamette River near Mary's Woods, a passerby spotted a bald eagle flapping around in the water and then sitting quietly on the river's edge. Fearing the bird might be injured, he called police — but the eagle was apparently just resting and had flown away by the time officers arrived.
1/13 11:59 a.m. It's not the fact that a trash can had been knocked over on Galen Street that caused a man to call police; it's that there were a lot of bloody paper towels among the detritus spilling out of the can, prompting fears that someone in a nearby house may have gotten hurt.
1/16 11:22 a.m. A homeowner on Lowenberg Terrace called police to report that someone had used his hot tub overnight and that half of the water was gone. But responding officers found no evidence of a crime and determined that it was more likely that the new hot tub was simply defective.
1/18 10:10 p.m. A man was cited for disorderly conduct after he refused to stop dancing in the middle of the intersection at Fourth Street and B Avenue and make room for fire trucks as they headed out on a call.
1/20 12:44 p.m. A woman told police that when the man in an adjacent apartment hears her complaining about the noise he's making, he turns everything down, grabs a needle and yarn and says he's not being loud. But the truth, she said, is that the racket coming from his television and video games makes everything in her home vibrate, and she'd like someone to make it stop.
1/30 8:56 a.m. A woman told police that one of her neighbors often drives down the road and lets his dogs run after him. The pooches are never on a leash, she said.
2/2 11:46 a.m. Police were asked to help get rid of a large rat that has apparently taken up residence in a Lake Oswego resident's compost bin. The homeowner is all but bedridden, he told police, and can't take care of the problem himself.
2/7 4:42 p.m. Maybe it was the long black cape or the fact that the woman's curly black hair was covering her face. Either way, the woman walking down Sierra Vista Drive looked like a witch and certainly didn't belong in the neighborhood, a caller told police. It was unclear whether any spells had been cast, but officers were unable to find the mysterious stranger.
2/7 5:01 p.m. Someone left pickles in a caller's mailbox and dumped feces on her lawn, a woman said — the latest in a series of issues she's reported to police.
2/9 12:34 p.m. A man who claimed to be Jesus told police that he communicates with witches every day and that the witches had told him that while he was in the hospital, his brother had sexual relations with multiple fifth graders. He just wanted to know if that was true, he told officers.
2/11 9:09 p.m. A resident of the Robinswood group home on Christie Drive told 911 dispatchers that he was being harassed by staff members who made fun of him because "you're 20 years old and you're still in this program." Would he face criminal charges if he poured water on them, he asked? Responding officers discouraged him from doing so; instead, they chatted with the program's director, who said he would talk to his employees about the words they were using.
2/13 9:33 a.m. As a man got his hair cut at a shop on Monroe Parkway, he told the stylist that he lived on a spaceship and that he was fighting Nazis and keeping America safe. Because of that, he said, he should get all of his haircuts for free from now on. He wouldn't come back and hurt the stylist if that didn't happen, he said, but he "could do things." Needless to say, the stylist didn't charge for her work — but she did call police to report the odd behavior.
2/14 2:23 p.m. A man called police to report that his cat had bitten him.
3/1 2:50 p.m. A caller was concerned about a child at the grocery store whose eyes were black and blue. It turned out the child was wearing eye shadow.
3/1 3:11 p.m. A caller was concerned about a car that took a stop sign too seriously and idled for 10 minutes.
3/1 3:52 p.m. A man was seen relieving himself by garages around the 200 block of Durham Street, and when confronted he swore and said, "Do you want there to be a problem?"
3/5 7:35 a.m. A mother was concerned about her son because he wasn't answering the phone and had been sick. It turned out he was just sleeping.
3/8 9:48 a.m. A man said his son was sleeping next to his van and he wanted him to move.
3/11 4:41 p.m. A man said someone poured something that smelled like pine sol in his vehicle near the 12300 block of Mt. Jefferson Terrace. There was "white stuff" under the vehicle and on the hood. He said he was having symptoms, including being unable to salivate.
3/12 1:21 p.m. A woman wished to speak with an officer about a call she received from someone who said she was "a disgrace to the human race."
3/16 5:14 p.m. A person wished to speak with an officer about his house vibrating.
4/4 4:32 a.m. A caller said he received a text from neighbors who accused his kids of making noise.
4/5 1:40 a.m. A caller was concerned after hearing the sound of branches breaking in bushes. The noises stopped when she yelled "hello!"
4/6 5:32 p.m. A caller said a neighbor was harassing him about her house vibrating, and he wasn't doing anything to cause it.
4/7 11:22 a.m. A man said he saw a sticker talking about eating animals on stop signs near Childs Road and Bryant Road.
4/7 5:11 p.m. A woman said she found a "weird mannequin arm" with a message on it near her front steps.
4/10 10:06 a.m. A man said he was purchasing plane tickets on his computer and someone called him saying they were with Delta and something was wrong with his flight. They asked him to purchase $4,000 worth of gift cards and he did.
4/10 8:17 p.m. A man was exposing himself in his apartment window. He was asked to close the blinds.
4/11 10:02 a.m. A woman said a neighbor was walking her dog and the dog ate a piece of shrimp. The dog became very sick, and the next day the woman found another piece of shrimp while walking the dog. She picked it up and gave it to an apartment manager, then asked for police to follow up.
4/14 12:17 p.m. Teens were skateboarding, and a caller wished to inform police about this.
4/14 7:56 p.m. Someone was seen yelling at trees near the 1500 block of Greentree Road. She was drunk and a family member took her home.
4/17 4:53 p.m. A caller had third-hand reports about a swarm of bees near D Avenue and 6th Street. Police found that there were, indeed, bees present upon their arrival, but no arrests were made.
5/3 5:21 p.m. A caller said people were having sex in a vehicle near McVey Avenue and Lee Street. The woman in the car said she was grooming the man's eyebrows.
5/5 7:40 p.m. A caller said kids were doing a challenge where they went down a road and tried not to brake before turning "really hard" near S Bergis Road and Cornell Street.
5/6 12:01 a.m. A man said his wife hit him over the head with a lamp while he was sleeping.
5/11 2:11 p.m. Corona beer was reported stolen near the 400 block of A Avenue.
5/11 5:45 p.m. A suspicious looking man wearing shoes that "didn't fit right" was seen near Wilbur Street and Durham Street.
5/15 12:31 p.m. A caller said people were cutting down trees near Kruse Way and Mercantile Drive. When told that it was part of construction work, the caller said "I thought Lake Oswego cared about trees" and hung up.
5/17 8:02 a.m. A "very low" branch was seen hanging from a tree near Evergreen Road and 8th Street.
5/24 5:23 p.m. An accident was reported near the 10 block of S State Street. No one was injured; during the call, people were heard arguing over "who was the worst friend."
5/29 12:31 p.m. A resident said a swarm of bees or yellow jackets was making it so people couldn't leave their houses near the 14500 block of Pfeifer Way; when they tried to leave, the swarm would chase them inside. They were advised to call a beekeeper.
5/30 10:16 a.m. A caller believed she'd been drugged when a coworker brought her coffee. She felt the coffee shop intended to drug her coworker but instead drugged her. She went to the ER and tested negative for drugs but wanted police to inspect the coffee cup.
5/31 6:41 p.m. A caller said their 16-year-old son hadn't been to school in four days, despite being told that he needed to go. The teen was apparently leaving and then sneaking back into the house through a window when his parents left.
6/1 1:43 p.m. A suspicious looking man wearing a red shirt and red tie was seen in a locked swimming area near the 200 block of Ridgeway Road. He was carrying a three-ring binder and said he was spreading the gospel.
6/3 4:56 p.m. A caller was concerned about a vehicle that had a "sun's out, guns out" sticker as well as another with names on a checklist. Officers found it was clearly a school sports/high school senior-related message and explained to the caller that "guns" referred to biceps, not guns.
6/6 12:35 p.m. A woman who seemed "very stoned" with "very pinpoint eyes" was in a parking lot near the 10 block of Monroe Parkway. When asked if she was OK, the woman said she was "going to save you all."
6/11 7:34 p.m. A helicopter pilot said his client wanted to be picked up near the 20 block of Iron Mountain Boulevard and he wasn't sure if there were any guidelines or restrictions he needed to follow.
6/12 11:24 p.m. A man was screaming with his hands up, then chased a car near South Shore Boulevard and McVey Avenue.
6/21 12:16 a.m. A weird animal that "sounds like a Tasmanian devil" was heard in the bushes near the 5000 block of Jean Road.
6/26 8:38 a.m. A resident emailed the police chief about a dispute with neighbors who were upset about their water use and early bathing.
6/24 10:12 a.m. A caller said he could hear a neighbor pounding her head against the wall. It turned out she was pounding her head on a pillow while she was trying to go to sleep.
6/29 3:43 p.m. A man called 911 to say he was going to commit a crime by pruning roses in a park near the 500 block of 4th Street.
7/1 6:41 p.m. A caller heard "strange noises" from an overgrown park area near the 17900 block of S.W. Stafford Road. The noises included "extreme coughing, huffing and puffing."
7/3 5:47 a.m. A caller was very nervous about what appeared to be a red Mylar balloon in front of her house. The balloon was popped and thrown away.
7/3 7:54 p.m. A man said he parked his car and a neighbor who didn't like his truck was glaring at him.
7/5 10:57 p.m. A suspicious looking man was seen trying to get into an apartment through the back balcony near the 10 block of Jefferson Parkway. He said he lived there, but was "just drunk." Police confirmed it was his residence and he went to bed.
7/6 1:15 a.m. A caller said kids were in his yard and he could hear them whispering things like "are they awake?" and "don't get caught."
7/12 10:30 p.m. A man said someone drove by and threw a Slurpee at him while he was biking near Bryant Road and West Bay Road.
7/12 3:46 p.m. A resident was concerned about dogs that had been in a backyard for three hours without water. They saw one dog toss a water bowl in the air and worried they were in distress.
7/20 12:15 p.m. A caller noticed kids scaling a building near the 2500 block of Country Club Road. They were practicing "hardcore parkour skills" and told to stay away from windows.
7/28 8:21 p.m. A caller said someone put something in their trash, and they tracked a strange smell to the can. Inside there was a white paper towel with "smelly goo" on it, and the caller wanted an officer to help decide what to do with it.
7/31 12:22 p.m. A caller wanted to discuss the legalities of a plan he had for handling a raccoon problem.
8/8 11:27 p.m. A resident said she was scared to leave her car and go in her house after seeing a raccoon on the front lawn. An officer escorted her inside and noted they were not attacked by the raccoon.
8/3 2:39 p.m. An Uber Eats driver said a customer in Oregon City made her uncomfortable by answering the door naked. She was told to contact the Oregon City Police but insisted that she wanted to talk to an LOPD officer.
8/6 7:35 p.m. A caller was having problems with a neighbor dumping dog feces over a fence onto city property.
8/12 11:26 a.m. A man with a microphone was "blasting his voice and music" and "singing in a bothersome manner" near the 200 block of 1st Street.
8/11 3:37 p.m. A suspected transient was reported to be in the back of a store with their face in their jacket near the 17700 block of Pilkington Road. The person had their jacket over their head because they couldn't see their tablet in the sunlight.
8/14 6:27 p.m. A suspicious looking man was yelling "f**k LO police!" and shoving a skateboard under cars near 3rd Street and Evergreen Road.
8/15 4:11 p.m. A man who "looked like someone you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley" was seen coming out of a wooded area and going into an abandoned house at an undisclosed location.
8/23 8:38 a.m. A caller said the front of a building was "covered in poo and vomit" near the 100 block of A Avenue. Police determined someone put ice cream on the windows — possibly Rocky Road flavor.
9/1 8:45 a.m. "Anti-establishment, satanic, anarchist" graffiti was reported near the 13600 block of Kruse Oaks Boulevard.
9/11 3:46 a.m. A man said he was afraid to leave his room because his mom would kill him with a rock.
9/12 9:52 a.m. 61 car keys were stolen from a vehicle overnight near the 1200 block of Overlook Drive.
9/19 6:14 p.m. A man fell into bushes and was "just sitting there looking dazed" near Country Club Road and Boones Ferry Road.
9/20 11:35 a.m. A resident said their neighbor didn't like her smoking cigarettes outside, and was putting her finger in her face over it.
9/23 8:06 a.m. A caller said her handheld detector was activating again.
9/28 1:05 p.m. A caller was suspicious of a 10-year-old girl who was selling sweet rolls for a trip to Wisconsin. The girl didn't say what school or sports organization the trip was related to.
9/25 1:12 p.m. A suspicious looking vehicle that was the color of "a faded tomato" was driving near the 5500 block of Luce Lane.
10/1 1:20 p.m. A caller said her husband's company went public about 10 days ago and their security team wanted them to advise law enforcement because their information was now public.
10/5 2:52 p.m. A caller said after an officer came to talk to him about harassment taking place on social media, the threats had increased. The man believed the harasser was "in his phone."
10/15 9:12 a.m. A caller said two men yelled at her and threw soda all over a lobby near the 16000 block of Boones Ferry Road. Apparently one of the men was upset that he couldn't get a McGriddle.
10/7 12:42 a.m. A caller said an item was thrown at his door after police left. He asked if he could use a gun to protect himself, then added that he only mentioned the gun in case the person outside was listening.
10/7 8:54 a.m. A suspicious looking man wearing dirty clothes and carrying a pitchfork was talking to himself while walking near Bryant Road and Boones Ferry Road.
10/15 7:52 a.m. A woman who was upset about a construction crew starting five minutes before they were supposed to started yelling and broke the headlight of one of the vehicles with a cone.
10/24 1:54 p.m. A student in possession of marijuana was refusing to give it to the assistant principal of the school.
10/24 10:20 p.m. A caller was very upset about kids ringing a doorbell.
10/26 1:26 a.m. A Lyft driver said a rider puked out his window. Officers found "only a very small amount of spit" on the vehicle.
10/27 6:44 p.m. 3-4 teenaged boys were seen trying to break into cars near the 4500 block of Carman Drive. It turned out they were throwing leaves at each other.
11/1 11:17 a.m. A woman told police that "this is where the cat thief lives." There was no evidence of any theft of cat — the cat in question had been missing for nearly two years.
11/2 8:07 a.m. A pumpkin in the middle of the road near Kerr Parkway and Touchstone was prompting concern.
11/4 10:34 p.m. A dog had been barking for 45 minutes at an undisclosed location, and it was unclear if it was "a distressed bark or just a bored bark."
11/9 5:56 p.m. A resident had second-hand information about teenagers who were home alone and had a man in a trench coat knocking on their door and windows. It was the neighbor's intoxicated friend who was at the wrong house.
11/11 4:10 p.m. A man said he was disabled and asked if he could use his cane to defend himself when threatened.
11/15 8:15 a.m. A caller reported seeing a man drinking from a carton of milk near the 3600 block of Carman Drive.
11/19 8:56 a.m. A woman said she walked by a person with a hood on who "had a vacant stare" and "gave her a weird feeling."
11/19 5:14 p.m. Police were contacted about two girls who were passing out "free treats" of granola bars "because it's nice!" near Glenmorrie Terrace and Pacific Highway.
11/23 12:08 a.m. A man and woman fell asleep naked in the back of a pickup truck while it was running near the 100 block of B Avenue. They were picked up by an Uber.
12/2 9:29 a.m. A caller was concerned about a woman who'd sent a few texts, one of which was asking for help. It turned out the woman was just sick with a cold and mistyped her message.
12/2 1:42 p.m. A naked man was making strange noises and surrounded by cans and other items near the 600 block of S State Street.
12/3 1:32 p.m. Two Gatorades and a bag of chips were reported stolen near the 200 block of A Avenue.
12/9 2:34 p.m. A juvenile was seen walking around yelling "I don't know what you want from me." Police found he was on speaker phone and doing nothing wrong.
12/9 4:39 p.m. A resident said their friend fell over and cut his face while broadcasting live on YouTube.
12/11 11:43 p.m. A woman, who was intoxicated, was upset that her husband (also drunk) would not stop talking to her when she wanted to go to bed. The husband agreed to stop talking and let her sleep.
12/15 1:01 a.m. For the third night this week, a woman felt that "something is not right." She was woken up by a weird, loud noise and told police that "it was just time to tell you" about what was going on in the area.
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