Best of the blotter
1/7 12:51 p.m. A microwave was seen in a travel lane on Interstate 205.
1/20 7:53 p.m. A caller said his sister sent him a "bloody picture" saying "I need help." It was a miscommunication.
1/21 6:02 p.m. A resident said her husband was in front of the house and threatened to kill someone. He was actually in McMinnville.
1/22 2:48 p.m. A man said he found women's panties on his property.
1/23 1:10 a.m. A man said his wife karate chopped him at Shari's Restaurant.
1/23 1:59 a.m. A resident said an unknown man was on his porch reading a newspaper.
1/24 3:41 p.m. A caller was concerned about two young girls on a hillside near the freeway. They were holding a "honk" sign.
1/30 6:04 p.m. A caller wished to report possible road rage when he saw someone in a "Merry Maids" vehicle slam on his brakes and start screaming at another driver.
1/31 6:51 p.m. A caller thought her furnace had been stolen but it turned out a company took it by mistake while attempting to work on a neighbor's furnace.
2/1 6:39 a.m. A caller was concerned after seeing a woman dressed in all black crouching over a manhole cover.
2/7 9:30 a.m. A man said his wife was "bumping him" and trying to agitate him.
2/25 8:22 p.m. A resident was concerned about a juvenile who was wearing pajama bottoms, no shoes and no shirt near Fields Bridge Park. He said he was out for a run.
3/2 3:54 p.m. A caller said a broken box of napkins was in the road and a "storm of napkins" was slowing down traffic.
3/8 10:05 p.m. A suspicious looking person got out of a car and went into a park near the 6300 block of Palomino Way. He was playing Pokemon Go!
3/24 11:26 p.m. A caller said his granddaughter had a boy over and he was refusing to leave.
3/29 8:16 p.m. A caller said someone knocked on her door and said his phone app told him things that were taken from his car might be in her house.
4/5 8:40 a.m. A caller said someone relieved himself near the Cedaroak Boat Ramp and started yelling when asked him to use a restroom. The person left the scene in an aluminum boat.
4/9 3:39 p.m. A woman said her home was placed on Craigslist for rent.
4/12 3:48 p.m. A person was seen stumbling into traffic and drinking from a bottle of Fireball.
4/14 10:09 p.m. A caller heard "a child or a cat" crying in her backyard. Officers found two cats fighting in the yard.
4/15 6:32 a.m. A man was walking and thought he heard a child screaming. It was actually a bird.
4/16 1:55 p.m. A caller asked police to check on an elderly resident who wasn't answering the phone. The resident was roused from a nap and answered the door.
4/19 6:01 p.m. A man believed a cook may have spit on his burger at a restaurant.
4/21 5:21 a.m. A caller was concerned after her boyfriend did not return home and she found his car parked a few blocks away. It turned out he was in jail.
4/21 7:17 p.m. A caller said people were smoking methamphetamine at a skatepark and it smelled like gas and cat pee.
4/25 11:38 p.m. A caller said his neighbor was "stomping around" her apartment.
5/6 11:01 a.m. A coach was threatening to fight a referee after a game at Rosemont Ridge Middle School.
5/10 4:47 p.m. Bones were found near the 4000 block of Willamette Falls Drive. It was determined they were not human.
5/12 8:14 a.m. A suspicious looking device that looked like a survey machine at Wells Fargo was, in fact, a survey machine.
5/15 7:46 p.m. Owners of a suspicious looking vehicle left "dirty condoms" behind near Bland Circle and Day Road.
5/18 8:09 a.m. Two men were throwing sticks and rocks at each other.
5/19 6:33 p.m. A man said his wife purchased something that appeared to have pieces of glass in it. It was found that they were salt crystals that were advertised on the bottle.
5/22 6:51 p.m. A caller said loud music had been playing at a shop for 102 hours.
5/24 3:30 p.m. A suspicious looking person in a van drove by someone and smiled near the 2000 block of 8th Avenue. The person said the smile "didn't feel right."
5/25 10:16 a.m. A caller wished to speak with an officer about a neighbor who was possibly feeding skunks. An officer left a message saying that the police do not regulate skunk feeding.
5/27 12:53 p.m. A caller said a man with a cat on a leash came up to her and threatened to kill her dog if it came near his cat.
5/29 8:27 p.m. A caller heard yelling from a home. It was determined to be a child who didn't want to take a shower.
6/7 4:53 p.m. A caller asked for police to help her take a phone away from her son.
6/10 2:57 p.m. A duck and ducklings were in the travel lane near Churchill Downs Drive and Furlong Drive.
6/17 9:16 a.m. Someone punched the lottery machine at the West Linn Saloon.
6/17 10:19 a.m. A caller reported a "chronic problem" with a dog following her down the street.
6/19 11:21 p.m. A caller said her son was refusing to leave his parents' bedroom, where he believed they'd hidden his confiscated cell phone.
6/20 10:03 p.m. A caller said she heard someone under her crawl space and saw a light going on and off. It was a cat.
6/23 8:14 a.m. A caller said someone was standing on her front porch, tried to open the door and then sat down on the porch and started reading before laying down. It turned out the man was trying to install hardwood floors and went to the wrong house.
6/28 8:18 a.m. A man was seen walking naked at Mary S. Young Park.
7/4 6:23 p.m. A large object that looked like "an elephant spine" was seen in the road near Interstate 205 and 10th Street.
7/8 6:10 p.m. A man believed his car was stolen but he had actually just forgotten where he parked it.
7/9 11:40 p.m. A man was concerned for his well-being after being invited over by a friend who he hadn't seen in a year.
7/11 9:30 p.m. A caller said someone threw tires from Les Schwab down a hill and they crashed into his fence.
7/13 5:11 p.m. A caller was concerned after seeing a man fall in a ditch.
7/17 10:56 p.m. A suspicious looking vehicle was seen driving up and down a cul-de-sac for 20 minutes near the 3800 block of Wellington Court. It was a new driver practicing parking.
7/19 6:45 p.m. A caller said her daughter let her friend use a gaming system and the friend wouldn't return it.
7/23 11:28 p.m. A caller said people were "howling like wolves" at a loud party near the 2200 block of Long Street.
8/4 12:37 p.m. A caller said hundreds of plastic forks were placed in his yard overnight near the 4700 block of Gardner Lane.
8/7 8:40 p.m. A large boa constrictor snake was found under a car near the 5600 block of Hood Street.
8/9 3:21 p.m. A resident was concerned she hired fraudulent carpet cleaners.
8/10 3:33 p.m. A slow moving skunk was seen near the 19800 block of Bellevue Way.
8/17 4:30 p.m. A naked man was seen urinating on a trail near the 22300 block of Clark Street.
8/24 7:36 a.m. A man was seen stumbling while walking on the freeway. He wanted to get home to Oklahoma.
8/24 9:37 a.m. Advice was given to a man whose wife was approached by a strange person in Germany.
8/25 7:54 p.m. A man said his sister threw a chair at him.
8/26 3:46 p.m. A resident said someone was taking sticks from her property to throw to a dog.
8/28 9:29 p.m. A caller was concerned after seeing a 10-year-old pushing a baby in a stroller with no adult supervision.
9/1 7:33 a.m. A caller said someone broke pots and a shell on his porch overnight near the 3500 block of Cedaroak Drive. The person left behind a sack of plates and cash.
9/4 7:06 p.m. A suspicious looking man was "wandering around" and "staring at the sky" near Hidden Springs Road and Willamette Drive.
9/5 2:17 a.m. A man was talking to himself, God and a tree near the 19100 block of Willamette Drive.
9/5 4:28 p.m. A caller felt that a man walking outside with his infant was putting the child in danger due to the air quality.
9/6 9:06 a.m. A caller said she had a cat door and at times her cat would come back groomed. This time, he came back sick. A vet later determined the sickness was due to old age.
9/7 6:12 p.m. A man said a gas station attendant sprayed water on his vehicle and on him.
9/8 11:07 p.m. A man said he was concerned about "lots of things."
9/17 9:24 a.m. A caller reported "sexual activity" in a car near the 22000 block of Salamo Road.
9/25 2:30 p.m. A caller was parking his car and was threatened by someone who said "I'm a dangerous woman." It turned out she had multiple cars and wanted to park them where she could see them because of recent thefts. She was told that they were public parking spots.
10/5 1:49 p.m. A customer was screaming at employees about lost pants near the 19000 block of Willamette Drive.
10/7 3:05 p.m. A man asked for an officer's assistance in retrieving his phone, which he lent to a friend who then lent it to another friend.
10/7 5:16 p.m. A caller said his dad hit him on the back of the head with a bag of food after fighting about a quesadilla.
10/17 10:47 a.m. A caller said a raccoon was walking on her fence in the daylight.
10/22 1:41 a.m. A caller said an Uber driver tried to give him something "odd" to drink that wasn't water and he worried he was being followed.
10/24 7:47 a.m. A "huge" deer was seen in a backyard near the 1100 block of Royal Court.
10/26 4:27 p.m. A man said he was nearly hit while crossing Highway 43 and wondered if it was OK to hit a car with his cane if it happened again.
10/27 7:00 p.m. A caller said a car was driving "really slow" up and down the street and flashing its lights near Lewis Street and Perrin Street. An officer arrived and helped the driver figure out her brights.
11/2 9:58 p.m. A caller was concerned after hearing "someone in the house thumping around." It was the laundry machine.
11/4 8:59 a.m. A person was "being verbal" with a fisherman and swinging a lead pole near Willamette Falls Drive and Willamette Drive.
11/10 2:41 p.m. A caller said he wasn't home and heard a package had been delivered. He requested an officer set the package in his garage with a code he provided. An officer did so.
11/11 3:14 p.m. A caller said she found clothing, a lighter and a UPS hat under her back deck.
11/11 8:57 p.m. A caller said her husband was intoxicated and wouldn't turn his video games down.
11/24 3:21 p.m. A caller wished to speak with an officer about possible wiretapping.
11/26 3:08 p.m. A resident asked for an officer to speak with his teenage son about vaping.
11/28 9:52 p.m. A caller believed she saw someone on camera in her yard near the 2600 block of Lorinda Lane. It was not a prowler but rather the result of a time delay on the camera.
12/2 11:26 p.m. A caller was concerned because an employee had not shown up to work for two days. It turned out the person wasn't scheduled to work those days.
12/4 3:33 p.m. A caller said someone appeared to be breastfeeding a child while driving on Interstate 205.
12/4 7:29 p.m. A caller felt threatened after receiving the message "WestLinn 1" while playing an online game.
12/6 12:32 p.m. A caller wished to report an ongoing issue with a neighbor using garden equipment for extended periods of time.
12/7 11:31 p.m. A caller was concerned after leaving her cat in the garage with the lights on and returning to find the cat outside with the garage lights turned off.
12/9 6:22 p.m. A caller said someone threw a firecracker at his house near the 23700 block of Crystal Terrace Drive.
12/9 7:35 p.m. A caller said the person who threw a firecracker at her house had returned and now her husband was chasing after him.
12/10 6:09 p.m. A caller said his neighbor locked her 10-year-old son out of the house and that the child was pounding on the door and crying. It turned out he wasn't locked out but rather was outside doing chores and crying because he didn't want to.
12/13 2:27 p.m. A resident was suspicious after a box that "smelled like something dead" was dumped near the 19900 block of Willamette Drive. It was trash.