Ready to leave, but not ready to let go
As senior year gets closer and closer to being over, I'm growing more and more impatient. More and more tired, too. Why, I'm not quite sure.
I might be impatient for college to start, I might be ready for something new. Honestly, though, I think this mix of anticipation and malaise might be what people call "senioritis."
I've never honestly disliked school. I do all of my homework, I exceed the word count on essays, and I'm involved with extracurricular activities. I love keeping myself busy and challenging myself.
But let me tell you — senior year is having a great time trying to change all of that.
I've had a countdown on my bedroom wall for the past few weeks. How many days of school until we graduate? Each day after school I relish ticking off one more day.
As I write this, a big 58 is on my wall. I can't wait until it reads 57 tomorrow.
If you would have told me two years ago that I would be so ready to graduate, I wouldn't have believed you. I specifically remember having a conversation with my older cousin. I told her I never wanted to graduate, and her response? Just wait until senior year.
I'm still like my sophomore self in some ways. I love to learn new things and hang out with my friends. Once the second semester started this February, though, something changed.
I still want to learn, and I still want to hang out with my friends, but now I can see the finish line. June 4, graduation day, is so close — I'm just weeks away from getting my diploma.
I know that in these last few months I'm going to make some of my greatest memories. I'll look back on this time fondly, I'm sure.
But I really, really, really want to just lie in bed and watch "Grey's Anatomy" and not go to school until graduation. I could watch all 16 seasons of the show multiple times.
I know, though, that I'll go to school and still study too hard and exceed the word count on my essays. I know that I'll dread waking up for school every day until graduation.
I also know that I'll get to graduation day and cry like a baby because the best chapter of my life, so far, will be coming to an end.
Wilsonville High School has been home to some of the absolute best and absolute worst times of my life. I've grown up in this town, and my whole life pretty much exists within a 20-mile radius of here.
So as I wake up for school 58 more times, I'll still complain and whine about how I had to wake up at 7:15 a.m., and how I stayed up way too late doing my homework. I'll show up to school with my self-diagnosed senioritis and watch the clock, counting the hours until I go home.
I just have this feeling, however, that pretty soon I'll be counting the days until I come back.
Alyson Johnston is a senior at Wilsonville High School.
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